Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hell on Earth OR, A visit to an Ikea Superstore.

Read the whole thing. I don't know when I've laughed so hard. Lordy, I feel for the guy....

"Making my way inside, I was greeted by the sight of a children’s "pen" where 20 and 30-somethings could park their whelps while browsing for new pressboard furniture and leopard-print bean bag chairs. There was a small kiosk manned by a couple of 400lb women with garishly painted coffee complexions and ribbon-candy hair who were busy talking about someone's "baby daddy" and it was several minutes before I could break in and ask for directions.

"I need an office chair." I announced. "Where should I go to find your selection?"

"You needs to go to Office World. Just go up da escamalator and follow da path. You cants misses it."

After parsing this sentence a couple of times, I was pretty sure I understood and set off into the depths of the store or, as I was soon convinced, Dante’s 9 circles of hell."